Can tears cleanse wounds? They are a saline solution. Do they wash over emotional scars and mend the hurt?
My tears flow like waterfalls. Are they as beautiful? As magnificent? Releasing pain, fear and sometimes joy.
And why were we told not to cry? If crying heals our inner pain. We should have been told to cry, to feel and to be real.
Where do tears go that are left inside? Do they rot or become moldy and corrupt emotions? Or do they simply die?
I have always been a 'cry baby'. Never pulled up my big girl pants. Saggy pants and wet face, my mantra.
My motto, let it flow, laughter or tears. The easier you cry, the better you shall laugh. For they are two sides of the same being.
Messy? Yes, life is one big mess! We spend our time mopping the floor with our tears and sweeping the remnants of healing.
I have never regretted a tear, a smile or an apology. Those are the gems of a life freely lived. A real, authentic life.
Today is the 4th of July, 2021. I had planned a big celebration. We were going to watch fireworks off our new pontoon boat down at the Marina. The boat is the culmination of a 60 year dream and celebrating that on the 4th seemed like a dream come true. A special celebration after 18 months of a pandemic that kept us away from all special events seemed like a mighty good idea. I planned to invite a few friends along, have pizza and wine and snacks.
It is the 4th of July and I am laying in bed because I can't walk without assistance. Tangled in wishes again. I typically start my day with coffee and a walk through my small garden to soak in the beauty of the flowers and the promise of a few fresh vegetables in the mid summer. Because I have been in bed for four days, I have missed those walks. I have a huge appreciation for those who cannot take a walk at all; those who find themselves in dark places that they cannot soon be free from. I have found in my tangled dreams a clarity of love and acceptance. My sweet husband has taken pictures of the garden and texted them to me, so I might enjoy the beauty and keep my dream alive. My friends have brought me coffee and pastries and meals. Today my dear friend brought me a basket of fruit and cheeses and crackers with little American flags decorating the amazing gift. Prayers sent my way left me in total peace during my surgery. I have had a slight setback and another small spoiled plan. But in its place life has left me a huge bouquet of unexpected poured out love, and in my pain, bits of laughter so real that it conquered the soreness. It is hard to put to words what those little flags meant. They will be remembered by me more than any huge fireworks show. Kindness is a healing balm and I will take it over any shining award or brilliantly laid plan I can conceive. Life never fails to bring us struggles. I suppose that is life's greatest gift. We see much more clearly in our dim days than in our bright ones. We focus in on what is important and real when we are flat on our backs.
Peggy Perry-Hill has a Bachelor of Science degree from the University of Michigan. She spent many years as a public school teacher. Her goal was always to be a full time writer. She has spent the last 25 years traveling the globe with her husband John Two-Hawks, presenting concerts workshops and retreats. Her mantra has been 'making music and making friends'. Peggy has also written several books with her latest being 'Give Peas a Chance' a nostalgic 60s cookbook which she wrote to hold onto some levity in her life during the pandemic. She has facilitated Women of Wisdom (WOW) retreats for over 15 years. Peggy is the owner of Circle Studios Records and CSR Media Publishing Company. Her passion is compassion and she has stood for decades by another mantra, Love is a Verb, so her main goal in writing is to inspire her readers into action. Peggy Perry-Hill is a wife, mother, and grandmother who loves writing, music, theater and culinary arts.